And The World Falls Apart

And The World Falls Apart
By: Blade

I don’t think you really understand. Nothing is what you think. Reality is not reality. Dreams are taboo grounds when conscious. Truths are lies, and secrets are common knowledge. Hidden motives lie within hidden motives. It goes too deep to comprehend.

What did you see in the darkness? Or what did you think you saw?

Do you know anything? What is actually real? What is false? How can we tell where something ends and something begins? How do we comprehend time? Does it exist? Do we?

It’s all falling apart. Shattering like glass, leave broken fragments of something we never really understood. They cut the hands that reach for them. They need the color, that sickly red blood, to paint our world with its bloody pieces.

Because eventually, everything will go to hell.

It’s only a matter of time.
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How can I explain? What words can I use? This gnawing feeling inside that often turns my attention back to you. But how could I tell you? You still can’t see what I see. And I don’t want you to.

It’s not black, in the darkness. Nor is it white, in the light. I’m stuck somewhere in gray. Maybe it was in-between all along.

The blood is finally fading, but the pain is fresh.

I’ve held the pieces in my hand for a long time now. They’ve cut so deep they can’t go any further, and it’s been so long the bleeding finally stopped. But I can’t drop them yet.

How can I explain? My world is falling apart. A secret I’ve held in for so long, and a truth I don’t want to acknowledge. Can I be saved? What am I afraid of? Save me from myself. There’s a bloodstain on the window, and the hand is clearly mine. I can’t stop falling apart. Will you pick up the pieces?
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Heero:
Torn paper. Broken windows. Ruined furniture. Tears. Pain. A twisted smile.
“You can’t see.”
The blood dripped to the floor.
“Can’t you see the spider web on my mirror?”
It’s completely silent. The guilt isn’t there.
“You’ve still got blood in your eyes. No! Don’t wipe it away.”
A picture painted in blood. That all consuming red.
“You shouldn’t see.”
It shatters everything. The pieces lie on the floor, scattered. The smile twists. The tears don’t stop.
“I don’t want you to see.”
A laugh. Sick, hollow, ringing. It’s a terrible sound.
“The truth is mine. I like the pain.”
The ground is stained. The words can’t be seen anymore. The voice can’t be heard.
“You can’t look at the real me.”
Can you see the blood on the window? It’s a reminder of the hand that reached.
“If you do…”
The rain is falling, but the blood’s still there. It will never go away.
“I’ll kill you.”
And time stops.
“I’ll kill you.”
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In that first time, I ran from it. The fear of the truth is an overwhelming thing. It holds pain. Don’t you want to see the future? Choking on a past that doesn’t exist. The blood is still running. What is left for me? Maybe it was too much to ask of myself. It seems like I’m living in a dream. And I wonder if I’ll wake up.

Will you stay even if I leave? Will you stand if I fall?

Maybe the truth wasn’t meant to be known. I’m taking away everything I knew, like sand falling through my fingers, and crushing it, hating it, loving it. Did you see what I did?

Don’t look at me!

Don’t open your eyes. It’s better if you keep them closed. This is a sick reality I exist in. You shouldn’t see it. Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies. It’s not real. Don’t try to save me. Give up. Walk away. Turn back. I will kill you.
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Heero:
It was cold. Why is it so cold?
‘This is my life…’
Quiet footsteps in the empty silence. A breath that is swallowed.
‘This is everything I’ve ever been and done.’
The face turns. Looking away because it can’t stand to see.
‘I continue to run away.’
The truth is too much. And the choice is too terrible. Tightening.
‘I have no choice but to run away.’
A squeeze around the heart like a hand. It feels as though it will burst.
‘I can’t stay. I can’t live in that world anymore.’
There is only pain. Nothing else exists.
‘When the war ended, I thought I’d finally be able to.’
Blood falls. A cold touch on the cheek. A lingering memory.
‘But then…that dirty little secret…I have nothing now.’
Trembling. Falling. Who is there to catch him?
‘I am empty.’
And suddenly it’s so clear. There is no one. There is nothing to save.
‘I have finally become what J always wanted.’
And he can’t breathe anymore.
‘A machine.’
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TBC