hn.

[this doesn't make sense at all]
for some reasons, the woman woke up in the middle of her sleep and asked me if i'd like to eat that 'fake' pizza that was bought. It's kinda weird and i can't stop laughing, so that woman had to leave with the idea that i didn't want any food. and there it goes *ding* the oven. well perhaps. the man came from his room and shuffles.. so i had the pizza after all. men ARE greedy aren't they? oh well. not all. oh. the pizza came. so do the woman. i realised that it's chipped. or the least, a piece was missing from 'half' the pizza. Well as long as that woman don't sickly 'bit' off directly from it thats fine. One doesn't have to give excuses so much. So there.. i'm munching on it now. typing away still. muttering non-sensical--?? stuff. why can't 'it' type in a different pov. 'the woman' sounds perfectly right to me. not even a s,h,e would be more right than that. sigh~ after all the pizza taste good. humm.. in the afternoon or what i so called late morning, that girl replied ok fine then. Did i do anything? wondering. surely one can't possibly make itself scarce for me not wanting it's presence around would it? Nothing of such would ever happen i guess. the least. thinking. or not really. blabbling away without much thought would be the right words to use. what could one wish more than a friendly company. found out what is actually sought after by the fics i read. not that i 'just' found out but kinda concluded it again after much thought. if it became an obsession, will it ever stop. what if it became too much of part of one, too great to stop. guess that. obsession is like how or why people want to cut. self mutilation a better word. wouldn't ever know unless one tries, not until it became a habit. isn't it stupid then. worldly desires or needs. well. but when it's so empty the feeling is greater. exasperation for a need to feel, even if it is someone else's-not your own. the first sought in life created out of humans. stories or shows. what can it be. but first way i'm finding isn't what i would call normal. maybe it is normal, but how could it be. because just what is known as utterly sick to the core. Not too sick though. My planet uranus, that woman's planet is also uranus. what could be blamed. uranus also represents perversion. i would be surprised. if that woman isn't so sick, i wouldn't be. it just got to pass on. or rather what is created out of a sick and perversed mind. subjects to be avoided, subjects to ignore. things one should see, things one shouldn't. the friend who's unhappy most of it's day till it meets another friend online. it's normal again. wonder if i'm like that too. but it isn't so. apathy. perhaps nothing is wrong. it is only wrong cause that human mind searched for differences, unique-ty. or maybe it is worse than thought. a moment of berserk when confronted with the word 'heh. is there even anything wrong. nothing's wrong.' and all could be calm. that is probably an illusion. musing too much isn't good either.