yume

think that life is nothing but a dream? people always says that 'life is short' but well, when one is alive, it seems all too long and too much pain. humans were born, creates things for their own ease, which in turn suffer from what they made in the first place. hmm.. when one dies, everything is over on earth for them. Things about them are forgotten, their wishes, dreams, hope, blah blah would have gone with them as well. "If there was such a thing as the so-called afterlife, why did people fight so hard to live? Why was the survival instinct ingrained so deeply into the human brain? Why did a drowning man fight for his very last breath if he knew that there was something better out there? Why bother? To it, the answer was simple. People struggled to stay alive because deep down they knew that there is no great reward after living. There’s just death. Cold, black and heartless death. No existence."Why then? I thought about that before, so far, i think i truely believed in christianality no matter how much i try to deny it. One thing, I AM afraid of death because I believe that there's a hell. And i know, i'm going hell if i would just drop dead now. All those stuff that i think, that I do.. unless well, I 'go back'. But then.. there are several things that's just hard to put down. Obsessions i'd say, real bad. nah.. but dying may be better, though i can't bear the thought to leave those unaccomplished things, and.. well, my friends and the idea of those 'people' finding out my secrets if i'm gone. hmm.. not that i'm suicidal now, heh. i'd be more of homoscidal if anyone would ask. And besides, 'i'm only happy when it rains~' I'd rather let myself drown in sorrow forever and suffer in mental pain than 'die' literally. ack. hmm.. not talking any sense here again. Always typing random thoughts. hehe.. nah.. boOring. Well.. bleh losing track of my existance hmm.. i live for my nakamas!! yay! urm.. *scampers away*